TELEVISION

RSPCA ANIMAL RESCUE 7.30pm, Seven Few would question the credentials of this program which reminds us weekly of the bonds humans have with various animals. Being top of the food chain necessitates the cultivation of respect and an appreciation of our food, our pets and our general status within the big picture. But on a slow day, when not much is happening and no cats have decided to become trapped in barely accessible crevices, it might be tempting to "initiate" an event or perhaps to invite Inspector Rex to make a guest appearance. Tonight RSPCA inspectors are obliged to undertake traffic control duties when a consignment of cattle manages to escape from a truck during a journey down a freeway. Just another example of bovine intellect and herd mentality?

Unabashed windbags are making my ears hurt

I'M OLD enough to remember when telephones had a separate earpiece and when many of them hung on the wall. If you were a small child, as I was in the 1940s, you had to stand on a box to speak into the trumpet-like mouthpiece. Not many people had phones in those days. Urgent messages of any importance were sent by telegram, and if you received one the news was very good or very bad: you had won the lottery or your favourite aunt had died. The likelihood of anyone sending a telegram saying "I'm on the train" were zero.